I had this conversation with a friend of mine here at work and thought I'd blog it. I’m not full of myself nor do I think I’m a pimp so please hold off on the insults if any.
There was a point in time where I thought I had found my significant other. That was short lived. My mindset on the opposite sex has changed drastically since then.
I know the games. I don't let my guard down. I don't settle. Yet...I feel like a prisoner in my own beliefs.
What's my therapy? Selfishness. I worry about me, myself, and I. I'm reckless in a sense that sex is not a big deal to me as it might be to a female. I'm not as emotional. I can sleep with a female one day and hang out with another one the next and wouldn't think twice in doing so. I must sound like such an asshole right now, but it's reality.
I don't think I'll find Ms. Right.
I was told that this is a phase? Is it, really?
Or is this due to my callous state of mind?
34 comments:
Most of it coming from a guy (sorry) is understandable, but one mushy question please:
"Is the sex just for a quick sexual fulfillment, and is the partner aware of it, ..if it is?"
Other than that, than yes, I know about the games as well.
I've played quite a few.
[Most] men deserve to be played just as well.
Are you any different?
Why was the other relationship short lived, or the thought of the person being ur "significant other", short-lived?
Just asking. U seem upfront & intelligent, I cant see why u'd live
"like a prisoner in ur own beliefs."
At least ur honest, if its a "phase", then most guys, average, go thru it all their life. =/
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Yes, it seems reckless alrite,
U'll dive head first into emptiness in no time.
But depending on the situation as a whole, maybe ur right for ur form of "therapy".
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Kristen: That's fair, I understand every female thinks all men are dgos.
Yes, sometimes it's a quick fulfillment but the feelings are mutual, my partners have been fully aware of the circumstances.
Andrea: Umm long story. You ask me and i'll give you 90 reasons, you ask her and she'll give you 90. It's hard to get down to specifics here because it'll take forever ti type lol.
Anonymous: I hope my honesty isn't too harsh = /
Dogs*
Understandable. Like they say, love is a battlefield.
Keep up the shield.
Just dont let it blind u, there are good women out there.
They just get tainted by men over time as well.
*I DONT think ALL men are dogs btw, thats just the generalization of them.
You might be one of the few exceptions. =)
Okay. Respectable.
thanks for the positive feedback people, I appreciate it
Kristen: "They just get tainted by men over time as well" - yep.
There is a saying it is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all.
It's so much easier said then done. You are young and full of time. Life is the longest thing we do and so far you have been doing it for 21 years. Sometimes you can trip and fall into love without looking for it. It has found you but other times it's not so easy. I can honestly say don't let sex take a lead in your life it's not as fulling as we think soon your mind and soul will be in a battle. You will find who is meant just for you when the time is right and don't be quick to judge. All it takes is time. The days, the weeks, the months, and years are filled with just that, endless time to find what you are truly searching for.
Exactly. Hopefully things will change for the better,
love is a beautiful thing once you find it in all its honesty.
Good Luck!
Liz: well put, thanks Lizard!
Kristen: thanks ; )
I love the honesty the lucidity, the transparency in this writing, you write this because you do not want to feel this way, you are humbly crying out for help for someone to change your point of view. For a certain specific woman to change your mind about you not being able to find Mrs. Right, but the problem is that you are looking for answers in TEMPORARY things (temporary woman and sex) instead of looking for answers in ETERNAL things. Love is not a war, if it is, then it is not love. Its about letting your guard down, letting down your shield to let someone in whether or not they deserve to come into your heart and mind. With every experience, mistake, choice, and relationship that has not work out in your favor comes a LESSON! What lessons have you learned from your short-lived relationships? If one moment or relationship from your past continues to haunt you in the present it will steal away moments from your future. Once you are ready and willing to let go of the past will you then be able to move into the future. Even after your little rendezvous with your sexual partners are over comes emptiness the question is do you want to continue to feel empty? You have control of that!!! Invest yourself in woman who are actually worth your time and energy, so then your relationships won't just be about sex, there will be more substance to it than that. You are not callous you are just HUMAN and no one is perfect!!! Perhaps it is just phase or maybe its not but you are the only one can say it is or it isn't.
Wow Melly!
First and foremost, thanks for the feedback.
1. You're right in a way about crying out for a female to change my point of view.
2. I guess i'm a little restless and I should be more patient. Liz is right, life is long.
3. I've let my guard down in the past and got burned, forgive me for my cautiousness. But you're right, I have to let go of the past in order to progress.
4. I learned that I tend to put others before myself in my past relationship. It was a habit... but a hand full of trifling unstable creatures put an end to that = )
5. I will choose wisely in whom I would want to invest myself in from now on. I'll try to limit my bad habits of looking for temporary bliss, but then again...I'm only human = /
WOW!
Looks like its all been said,
but I AM going to add my measly "GREAT POST!", because it was.
You're only human, and I'm sure the temporary sexual fulfillments, are just the tip of the iceberg of the recklessness that you openly state to have.
Otherwise, you wouldn't feel like a "prisoner" in your own beliefs.
Your form of therapy can only hide so much, and only protects you from another ...heartbreak?
There's healing to be done.
As for this "phase",
I see it as more of a self-made mental confinement.
Like others have stated, only YOU can decide whether you'll keep up that wall, or break away from it.
But don't get me wrong, only a fool would wear his heart on his sleeve, every Sally, Sara, and Sue can bump into it.
[Metaphorically].
But there's no need to hide it behind Mr. Fiddys bullet-proof vest, either.
=p
[Sorry about the essay!]
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sasha m!chelle™
P.S.-
I read your feedback to your feedback, so I see I've said the same thing as everyone else, sorry!
((No need to repeat yourself!))
It's just a very touchy, and universal topic.
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sasha m!chelle™
I love essays lol. Thanks for the FB, I guess you can say another heartbreak...or a waste of time. I wouldn't want to waste valuable time on someone who doesn't deserve it.
FB for Sasha pt. 2: - Thats fine, I don't expect people to come in and read 13-14 replies just so you won't give a repetitive response. It's all good, beek.
"Cool Beans"
[[stuck in my head]]
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sasha m!chelle™
wow, the comments are longer then the blog itself!
Real great post!
I guess everything else has been said!
Aw, I wish I could say something that hasnt already been said! But u do write beautifully [no homo way] Im sure u will find "the one" but Im not sure about the "u will when ur not looking" saying, because a guy like u will probably see the masses coming! =)
thnx for the love, Danielle
I think ur a very simple, yet passionate writer. I also think ur very talented, theres no need to question finding Ms. Right.
More like Ms. Which One. Ur not going through a phase, ur going thru LIFE! We've all crossed that stage, some of us just needed to be nudged along. The right one will grab ur heart and lead u away..
Other than that heard a lot about u.
I'll stay posted! =)
Reborn: Thanks for the compliments; I don't consider myself a writer. I usually just rant and rave about whatever is on my mind at any given time.
Sometimes it's silly things like starburst commercials or personal topics that are fluttering through my mind.
Thanks for stopping by
Hey Opa Locka...
It seems like you have been getting a lot of feedback from women, but what about the guys!!!
I'm only 25 years old but I can tell you that I have experienced a lot of different things in life!!!
I have gone through the same situation you are going through... wether you belive me or not...
Is it a stage we go through????
Definitely not... if it was we would all go through it and not everyone does....
Does sex fill you up at the end of the day???
Absolutley not!!!
It is a choice we make!!!
I never thought I would find the right woman I would like to spend the rest of my life with... honestly, I wasn't even worried about it!!!
You plan for sex maybe everyday of your life...(as most guys do)...
Do you ever plan for Love???
The reson why we can't do this is bacasue we do not understand love, it just hits us like a freight train when it does...
Things happen for a reason, will you ever meet miss right, of course you will...
You just have to stare her straight in the face and tell her she's the one when you do!!!
And you have to make the choice of wehter you want to give everything to her or not...
People go through relationships never really knowing what to do... but when you meet her, you will know!!!
I have been blessed to have been able to find the right woman, she has a heart of gold, she makes my day every morning when I hear her voice, she is my reason for wanting to become a better man...
Sex Is sex...
Love Is amazing...
Sex is temporary...
Love is eternal!!!
You will find it, the question is...
Are you looking in the wrong places???
thx for the feedback, Fernando.
I think you're right, maybe i'm searching in the wrong places.
A friend of mine told me the other day that, "Maybe you should stop talking to girls and pay more attention to women".
I just may..
You had better! Lol..
Yay!
You're page works..
Kudos to that!
Lol...
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sasha m!chelle™
You will find Ms. Right becuase you are an amazing guy. Sometimes you have to let your guard down. You will get hurt, there is no question about that. But every experince you have now will make you a better friend, lover, husband, etc in the future.
You shouldn't have to settle. We all make choices in our lives that only we know why we make. No one can judge you because you are doing what is right for you and only you.
I truly believe that people come into our lives for a reason. When you meet that special someone (who hopefully you will get to know really well before you sleep with) you will care about what she feels, thinks, wants.
Sex is very important but it is not everything in a relationship. It seems that way when you're 21 but believe me, that changes.
thanx for the fb and the advice, Normi
Damn..
How come you get all the
intellectual feedback?
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sasha m!chelle™
**GREAT POST**
I want 2 see more posts about relationships 4rm u, its a great point of view. But every1 seems 2 have said it all =)
thanx D.R. Mami, for the feedback and the suggestion. I'll take it into consideration ; )
we are pretty emotional but at the same time i can understand why it would be easy to sleep with someone one day and spend the next day with someone else. "been there done that".. but i feel that everyone has their match in life and if you die alone its by choice. theres always someone out there for everybody. but since previous relationships have given you that doubt, i wouldnt blame you for thinking that way, but eventually things change and that special girl will be walking into youre life before you know it...
just dont be close-minded/or so0 picky either froggy!
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