Who's your daddy?

You know what’s fucking weird? Sit back and listen (read, shut up).

Let me take you back to a strange day in the life of a young Mr. Cruz. I was about 11 or 12 years old and on summer break. I went over to my neighbor Corey's house to hang out for a bit. I walk into my friend’s room and he’s watching a porno with another friend of ours. I see boobies and I’m like...COOL. You just kind of stare at that age. You don’t know what’s going on…but you like it. You don’t know why you like it…but you just do. It’s like we're are pre-programmed to like porn or something? Or not.

As we continued watching, I kept wondering to myself why was a lady sleeping next to the couple which were having sex? The dude was showing the blonde his O-face while another lady next to them was sound asleep with a mask over her eyes. Then something disturbing happened.

The female begins to moan and the guy says, "Shhh...you'll wake your mother, honey" - Strike one.

Then the blonde replies, "Okay, daddy" - Strike 2.

Then the blonde says, "You're the best, dad" - STRIKE 3!

They were watching incest porn! YES, INCEST. It was a VHS tape of some type of family role-playing kind of shenanigans? It’s fucking disturbing when I think back about it. Why the fuck didn’t any one of us say anything while watching it? We just watched it like it was a casual thing. Like if this shit is normal. Like if we were sitting around watching Cool World and drinking kool-aid. But there was no Kool-aid. Only hardcore incest filth!

Guy – Hey dude, whats up?

Guy 2 – Not much. Just drinking a beer, watching some girl go down on her blood brother.

Guy – Aww man, sweet! What channel!?

Where did they get the porn tape from!? How do a couple of kids grab their hands on an incest flick? Did one of my friends have some freaky ass parents who were into this? The parents of my friend with the tape are black Southern country folk. These incest devils were white. So many questions! I wished I would've asked these questions but I never spoke to my friends about that day ever again. I pretended as if it never happened. It was literally the only porno the three of us every watched together. Hell, I’ve never even told anyone about this until now. It needed to be let out. The truth will set you free!

Not really. It just reminds me of some weird twelve-year-olds.