I think a pigeon tried to commit suicide this morning. It dove in front on my bumper.
I’ve achieved the impossible…I no longer watch TV! I used to watch way too much TV for my own good. I’ve replaced TV with literature. I’m halfway through Invisible Monsters. Although I do miss watching The Office.
Excuse me for Spanish not being my language of choice, Sorry! Don’t correct me every fucking time I make a grammatical mistake. I don’t correct you when you sound like an idiot trying to speak English. Swim back to your country, fucktoid.
Good things seem to be on the horizon. Giggity.
I got a tiny hole around the crotch area of my pants. Crap.
My co-worker has a garden on his desk. I think I shall get him a machete for his birthday so he could get to his files.
Don’t be afraid of the toner…it doesn’t bite. You make 70K a year yet you can’t change your toner. Die.
Sometimes I wish evaluation consultants would come in and X out the expendable people around here.
Hey you! Yea you, the one who is reading this crap. Ask me any question you want and I’ll answer it for you. Don't be shy.
I think I’m going to go the entire month of March without shaving.
I think the key to finding a trustworthy candidate to start a relationship with is appearance. Maybe I should go out and hook up with a homely woman. You can’t trust pretty people.
Word of advice for the day - While driving - if you’re making a turn (left or right)…use your indicators. You won’t receive an electric jolt if you tap them, trust me. Go ahead and flip the little guy up or down and save yourself a panicky ride home in which you ask yourself, “Is that guy in the white car following me?”
What is it about Bad Boys 2 that never allows me to get tired of it?
Silly vegetarians. They eat soybeans that animals died for. Stop following trends, eat meat and shut up.
Happy Friday, biatches.
9 comments:
random post here...
what happened to the pigeon you said it tried to commit suicide but did it achieve its goal.
i stopped watching tv a long time ago but i still don't have time to catch up on my literature.
i save myself the embarrassment of stuttering through the wrong verb tense & just speak English.
good things are on path seem like that ever moving dog bone i just can't catch.
why the fuck is there a hole around your crotch area...do i even want to know....
your guy coworker shouldn't have a garden on his desk...unless hes Asian.....(that was a mike statement)
i can change toner but i don't make 70k...maybe its either one or the other...
i already asked my one question geez..
if you take weekly pictures of your beard I'll congratulate you on a job well done.
i use to only date less attractive guys because i think everyone will cheat on me and i thought they couldn't do any better but thats not the case go for the pretty person what can it hurt there most likely pretty scared so it makes up for it.
i always use my turn signals but i still think people follow me.
i never watch movies twice.
i went threw an i don't eat meat phase but not because i cared about the animals i just didn't like it.
horrible friday
byez
i think my comment as longer then your post wow
Either A. the pigeon vanished into thin air and B. it's somewhere stuck between my bumper or underneath my car because I didnt see it on the street when I looked into my rear view.
Catch up when you're on the train ; )
Sometimes I like screwing up on purpose just so the elder spic can correct me, they're so cute. Pfft.
Maybe you should reevaluate your approach on catching the bone ; )
Beats me? I'm just as surprised as you are. I guess someone wants to say hi idk
he's cuban, dislikes asians.
See, it doesnt bite right?
Stay tuned for the pics
Yea my theory is that the ugly person would be so grateful and excited to be apart of such relations that they'd never cheat thus begins the whole happily ever after crap. But...I might just give that pretty chick a chance if she ever comes out of the rock shes hiding under.
Keep a tazer in your glove compartment (mase is a good idea / bad idea waiting to happen, i speak from experience)
Never? How can you not see finding nemo more than once?
Meat is your friend = )
It's been a good friday so far, go figure...
Just one question? With shyness out the window?
Here goes nada:
If someone where to tell you that your level of attractiveness personality-wise would match your looks tenfold if you were to go back to your ideal weight would you:
a. Take offense.
b. Figure you're not far off and strive toward that "goal".
c. Kick them in the head and tell them to get their eyes checked.
I'd strive toward the goal, ef it.
I heard someone say the other day that Seth Rogen from 'Knocked up' is fat. If that's true then I better get my ass in the gym.
Okie Dokie.
No Biggie.
Him fat? Pffsh.
Cute & Cuddly maybe :D
You haven't seen or heard unrealistic standards on fat and skinny until you heard what Pinky considers both.
Ugh.
'Nuff said.
Random Rady Strikes Again!!!!
I do not always use my indicator...my bad!!!
I am saddend about the pigeon, I hope it decided to live afterall!!!
lol, suicidal pigeon?? I watch a lil mun2 & univision23 sometimes, but hey, not too much. I feel you on the Spanish thing, but saying swim back to your country is a lil harsh you know! ;] the tiny hole is a plus, dont worry. like an airhole you know? lol. A question? ummm...whats your fave position? trust me, it says a lot about you ;]
n ugly woman will just kill you with her insecurity believe me, I dated a guy like that & it made me want to puke. I had to boost HIS ego all the time. wtf??
You can trust pretty people, because you can trust that theyre always on the look out for the next best thing lol, no but seriously step up & they wont step away. my personal guarantee. :]
uh, where was I?
oh ok, my indicators, no prob, while walking i'll signal with my arms like wings. Miami is whats about bad boys II that wont allow you to get over it.
Soy isnt sexy, youll grow a mustache. Come carne!
Happy Tues. to you! :]
The Miami part of Bad Boys II makes me yell at the TV.
How can they go from 79st and Biscayne....all the way down to the metrorail in downtown--- in a foot chase in less than a minute?
I scream, "BULLSHIT!"
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